The Face of Confidence

Okay, I will admit that I am a very inconsistent blogger. Raising a toddler is consuming all my resources. (Yes, that means a tiny, 16 pound, one year old is whipping my rear-end and I am too exhausted at the end of each day to think of how to type, much less what to type.) But before you nay-sayers say, “I told you so,” hush, I love this little tyke immensely and am totally content.) It is hard to blog, though, since she is insanely jealous of my laptop and whines to get in my lap if I even look at it. And there are so many other things that keep us busy each day. There are lunches with friends, trips to the vet, trips out of town, shopping to be done, playing at the park, stomach viruses (nasty), and all those day to day things that aren’t getting done, either. And then before you know it, looming on the horizon is my inevitable return to work. I have to make the most of my time off work doing bonding activities and fun stuff.

I’m having a little trouble with the concept of work and my new status as mommy to a toddler. Not that I have a choice about returning to work, since my income is half of the family’s support and that toddler has to eat. But I sure will miss our leisurely mornings of bottles and coffee, daytime excursions, and rocking her to sleep for her afternoon naps. I know that weekends at the end of a workweek will be full of errands and chores that will rob of us of our one on one time. Basically, I’m not ready to leave her yet.

The important question is whether she is ready for me to leave her. As the experts advise, we’ve worked on meeting her needs immediately so that she can feel secure. I’ve guided her gently and slowly through accepting her new world. She has made great strides in the short time she has been home. Just look at her face; it is a face that shows confidence. Confidence that her smallest whimper will bring us running, that the hugs and kisses will keep coming, and that all the ice cream belongs to her. She now holds up her arms for her Daddy to pick her up and will snuggle her little body next to his for comfort. She chants, “Da Da, Da Dee,” when he gets home from work. Big change from not wanting him to touch her. She has climbed into her big sister’s lap of her own accord and no longer cries when sister tries to hold her. She’s warming up to her niece, Hopers, and calls her, “Op.” She still follows me from room to room but doesn’t panic when I leave her to put away laundry. Today she stayed in the nursery at church. I was apprehensive and kept waiting to be summoned to comfort a sobbing child but they said she played the entire time. Huh. She could have at least looked sad for a minute but I guess this is testimony to her feeling secure. She was happy to see me when the service was over and I was happy to see her! I think she is going to do just fine; I don’t know about me.

Doc T Delivers Another Nephew for Tabitha

Sorry about the dearth of posts but I have a toddler now which means I am lucky to put together a complete sentence verbally, much less write it down. Those of you with toddlers know that the law of physics for toddlerhood is: For every action completed by an adult there is an extremely unequal and opposite reaction completed by the toddler. For example, you, the adult, see a cheerio on the floor that must have fallen there sometime in the last week and you, being the tidy person that you are, deposit it in the trash. This action means that sometime in the next 10 minutes your toddler will dump an entire box of cheerios on the floor (or eggs, or laundry detergent, or flour, or anything else that you absent mindedly put down as you rushed to get your toddler out of the trash that she has just removed from the can).

The big news this month is: Doc T delivers and baby Nicky made his debut, weighing in at 8 pounds and 10 ounces, 21 inches long. Big brother Natey, by all accounts, was not as thrilled as the rest of the family, telling them to not talk about the baby anymore. But hey, from a two-year-old’s point of view, a newborn is pretty under- whelming. Except when baby brother cried, Natey lamented that he couldn’t understand what the baby was saying. We don’t know either, Nate, but I can guess from my experience with boys, that he’s saying, “More food!” So, Tabitha, I have another grandson and you have another nephew. I hope that doesn’t make you feel too old. Of course, she doesn’t know enough English to fully express what it must feel like as those nieces and nephews keep coming. Wasn’t it just yesterday her sisters were babies?

She is adding to her vocabulary with rapid pace, however. She can say, “hush” to the dogs, “up” to be picked up, “bye” and “shoes” for the obvious, along with “Mama” and “Daddy” and some things I’m not sure about. I’ve heard her say, “diaper,” “bottle,” and “baby.“ She understands what we say to her as much as any typical 19 month old would. She is also learning other many useful skills like how to recycle. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know what to recycle, so you never know what you might find in the recycling bin (like her shoes).

Tabitha has finally begun to allow her daddy to pick her up and to hold her. Not only does she allow it--she demands it when he has a bowl of ice cream. I think he knows now to dip two bowls of ice cream if he expects to eat any.

She’s also making great strides in getting comfortable with the dogs. She helped me bathe one of the weenies and later felt of his soft ears and bopped him on the head with her toy. He might not have appreciated the progress but he does love kids and will tolerate tough love from them.

First Days in Changsha: A Retrospective

Those first few heady days in Changsha before baby and when we first got her all seem a long time ago now. The pictures, grainy though they are, bring them back along with the tears of happiness. The time seemed almost surreal. We had waiting so long and jumped through so many hoops to get this baby and then we were there, actually doing just that. I don’t know if it was the jet-lag or the gray weather that hung over us for our week in Changsha but everything seemed a bit fuzzy. I kept expecting to wake up back at home, still waiting. We arrived at the Changsha airport on a cold and drizzly day, the eve of meeting our daughter.

On baby day, the group of expectant parents woke up a little and the anticipation of finally meeting our daughters made us all a little giddy. We took a bus to the stark government building and waited for the babies to get there. Daphne, our adoption agency rep, gave us our number, which indicated the order in which our babies would be presented. We were last. I watched as each baby was brought into the room and handed over to her family. Most babies cried loudly and most parents wept with joy. By the time our name was called, I had completely lost my composure. Tabitha whimpered and looked extremely anxious, a look that became very familiar over the next few days. I took her to a far corner of the room and cuddled her, stroked her head, and whispered mommy words in her ear. Ba Ba watched us, occasionally stroking her and adding in his own words of comfort. She cuddled against me, somewhat comforted, but still frightened. Having completed all the paperwork the night before, thanks to Daphne’s wise experience, we were then free to go on the bus. Tabitha leaned against me and slept. I cried. You can see from the picture that my lips were cracked and dry and I surely could not afford to loose any moisture but I cried nonetheless. Tears of joy, relief, and love. She was mine and finally, finally in my arms. I’ve added pictures to the slide show of that day and the next.

Tabitha is so much more vibrant now but sometimes she gets the look that she had during those first few day, a look of fear and helpless resignation and I feel a pang of hurt that cuts to the core of my being. I know she doesn’t understand why her world has been turned upside down. During those days, I so longed to see a smile--or even a temper tantrum--anything but resignation in those eyes. Her cries even sounded weak, like the cries of a newborn.
We spent the next few days getting acquainted with our frightened little baby. We still could not believe she was ours. She remained passive except that she clung to her Mama with fierce determination. My presence was the constant in her suddenly tumultuous life. Our guides, Daphne and Ellen, gave a birthday party dinner, complete with cake to the little ones in our group. Most of them had passed their first birthdays without fanfare. Tabitha was oblivious to the festivities as she struggled with the concept of sitting in a high chair. She didn’t like being anyplace Mama’s arms were not. It’s okay that she didn’t realize there was a party in her honor, she has plenty of shindigs in her future.

Hong Kong Boat People

Since there’s not much to blog about right now--Chicken Pox is pretty boring--I thought I would start showing some pictures of our trip. Today’s slide show features part of our Hong Kong tour when we visited the Boat People. We rode in a small boat driven by a tiny woman who makes her living giving tours of the Boat People “village.” She has spent her life on a boat and since her husband died, no longer fishes. The Boat People live on these boats their entire lives and have for many generations. The city grew up around them but their lives have remained basically the same. The floating restaurant caught all our attention since it was so ornate. Once we saw the rusty back with yucky looking stuff being pumped into the bay we decided it was not where we wanted to eat.

My oldest brother lived on a boat for several years. I wish that I could share these photos with him but he died two years ago just as we were beginning this process. This slide show is dedicated to his memory.

A Pox on Your Child

People in medieval times believed that chicken pox was due to a curse. Tabitha just might agree with them after the past two days of her bout with chicken pox. She was one sick little baby. Apparently, she was exposed while still in the orphanage since the nearly two week stay with us in China fits the incubation period for the illness. Four of the 11 babies in our group have chicken pox. One of them we are very worried about; she has them in her eyes. We've exposed Hopers, who is unvaccinated, Doc T, who is pregnant, and the one billion people we came into contact with as we flew across the world on three flights, one of which included a 4 hour layover at the Chicago O'Hare airport. Sorry about that, we didn't know until the next day that the irritability was chicken pox. There were many things to be irritable about. Fourteen hour flights tend to do that to people.

Yesterday Tabitha felt much better and achieved several new accomplishments. After watching niece Hopers crawl across the floor, she decided crawling might be fun. No more staying in one room. She can walk but floor coverings and shoes are tricky things when you’re just learning and tend to trip you up when you least expect it. Crawling can get you somewhere quickly and if you fall, well, there’s only like 3 inches to the floor. You might think that a walking baby would already know how to crawl but because most orphanages are not heated, the babies are dressed in so many layers of clothing that they resemble starfish and are not given much tummy time on the cold floor. Not very conducive to crawling so they skip that stage and move on to walking.

The accomplishment she was most proud of was her mastery of the rocking chair. She knew it was kid-sized but she couldn’t get her short little legs high enough to climb in. Then baby Hopers, aka The Giant Baby, came to visit and climbed in with ease. Hopers, though 8 months younger, is a little taller than Tabitha and has been mobile since she was 4 months old so it was an easy feat for her. Not to be outdone by a 10-month-old, Tabitha figured out how to climb up also. Today she climbed in and out of the rocking chair 100s of times with the intense concentration of an Olympic athlete in training.

We have great plans for Tabitha and nieces Hopers and Noodle to become good friends. This will be especially convenient for us since big sister T will be watching Tabitha during the day when I return to work. Right now, Tabitha will not let anyone besides me hold her and has no use for other children, except as role models in exploring her world. Noodles, being a mature 5 year old, can get Tabitha to laugh and is very patient with her pushing her away and slapping at her. She thinks Tabitha is too cute and, of course, reinforces all the wrong behaviors by laughing at them. Each day, though, we see a happier and more secure baby, one who is accepting and liking her new world.

Last Day in China

Today was our last day in China and we are ready to come home! The day began around 3:00 am with a snuggly baby girl crying to get in bed with me, after which she did acrobatics in a light sleep while I tried to keep her from falling off our twin bed. For some reason, the double rooms we've had here in China contain two twin beds. My only complaint of the room--American sized people need bigger beds! After a couple more hours of keeping the baby on the bed we got ready for the day and headed down to the breakfast buffet. It was plain toast for me today since my stomach is definitely tired of Chinese food. I tried Tabitha once more with the congee, the baby food staple of China, but she shook her head no violently and pointed at the buffet. Now she knows, there's more to food than congee.

After breakfast we went with our group to the Guangzhou Zoo. Tabitha slept through the first half but enjoyed seeing all the animals. I thought it was a good warm up for our house of dachshunds, especially the part where you can go in the monkey habitat and hand feed them. We actually just watched since I don't think monkeys and babies mix well, at least not as well as dachshunds and babies. Apparently, lawyers aren't allowed in China because in the US there would be at least 30 lawsuits per day over this monkey business. The zoo was an old zoo, very well kept and very pretty. The one resident 60 year old panda even got up and stretched his arthritic bones for us.

Next there was souvenir shopping around the hotel. We didn't get anything yesterday at the Pearl market, sorry guys, so thought we better at least get some "My friends went to China to adopt and all we get to do is babysit" t-shirts for our friends back home.

Finally, there was the trip to the consulate where we completed the last step in China needed for Tabitha's adoption. We swore an oath that we were truthful in our paperwork and had our passports checked for the millionth time on this trip. As soon as our plane lands in Chicago, Tabitha will be a US citizen! Someone needs to greet us at the airport with a Happy Meal since she swore an oath never to eat congee again. Some nice Chinese ladies talked with her on the steps to the consulate in Chinese. I don't know what they said but when one tried to touch her she pushed her hand away and turned her head. The lady probably offered her congee.

Yea! We're coming home now with our tiny opinionated US citizen.

Pictures

Here are pictures of the "Red Couch" in the White Swan, of our trip to the Buddhist Temple, and us walking around the hotel. As you can see, Tabitha did not like the picture taking on the red couch. That's because she couldn't touch me and that's a big no no in her world right now. More blogging later; we're off to the Pearl Market.

Welcome to the White Swan

Yesterday, after a harrowing bus drive through Changsha that involved a lot of honking, we made it to the airport, which involved a lot of standing around. Our sweet agency rep, Daphne, sang children's songs and a Hunan folk song on the trip. She told us of her pride for her country and her wish that we teach our children about their beautiful country and teach them to speak Mandarin so that one day they could come to visit. She told us how happy she is that we were adopting China's orphaned daughters and giving them opportunities that they would never have had as orphans. She gave each child a small embroidered bag of soil from their homeland so that they would never be lonely for China.

At the airport, apparently, the person weighing our group's luggage had a heavy thumb and decided that our group of eleven families needed to pay around 2,000 RMB fee (about $260 US) for overweight luggage. Our guides haggled with them, but the group, fearful that our luggage might be delayed or may not make it to the same destination as us, decided to cough up the money. Hmmm, an interesting experience, one of many on this trip. During the hour long haggling, our group drew a crowd of curious Chinese onlookers. We must have been quite a spectacle to them, a group of Americans with little Chinese daughters. Families with little children and grandparents gathered and stood about two feet away from us, pointing and laughing. It is quite a different experience not to blend in with your surroundings, one that your average white American doesn't experience often. The onlookers were only curious and were friendly so no one was bothered by their stares. We know we look weird.

Now we are at the White Swan which, is quite sumptuous. It is filled with shops of expensive clothing and antiques costing around 3 bazillion RMB each. Our view from the window of our room is of the Pearl river and the city beyond. It is still gray and drizzly here and cool but we're hoping for sunshine tomorrow. We ate at the hotel restaurant, which will probably be our only time to do so, except for the included breakfast buffet, since the meal cost us around $80.00 US. The food was very good, however. I sat with the Princess while BaBa fetched our food so I didn't get to see if it boasted the same foods as Changsha but the fish on the buffet did stare at us as we walked to our table. And their stares didn't look friendly.

Today BaBa did the paperwork for the American consulate while I took Tabitha on our first mother-daughter shopping trip. Before we left the hotel room, though, Tabitha let me in on a little secret she had been keeping from us. She can WALK! What a stinker, she plopped down and cried every time I stood her on her feet before. Today I sat on her the floor while I hooked up the computer and from the mirror above the desk I saw her walking behind me. It is still the toddling, lurching walk of a novice but she walked across the room. Her little personality is starting to emerge from her shyness. Daphne told us that Hunan people are known for their spicy foods and our babies were spicy chili peppers. I never believed that about my sweet little Princess but today I saw her throw a toy in a snit. You go girl! Your going to need that pepper personality to keep up with your nieces. You know the famous Noodle and Hopers, co-authors of the best sellers, "How to Wreck a Room in 7 Seconds," "Ten Sounds Guaranteed to Make Adults Cringe," "Body Art With Markers," and "Decorating With Flour." Now we're off to take the famous red couch pictures. Check back later for photos.

More Changsha

Little by little, Tabitha Jian Jian is warming to us. She still spends 90% of her time in my arms but is now playing with toys and giving us sweet little smiles. This morning she even laughed out loud when I tickled her. Her favorite activities so far are playing with stacking toys and her spoon and cup, looking at her gorgeous self in the mirror and making calls on Skype from Mama’s lap. The only time she vocalizes is in front of the computer as she moves her index finger around the mouse pad. She’s a fast learner; she’ll have her own blog in no time. She’s a very easy baby to care for since she pretty much stays where you put her and only plays with the things you give her. She cries only when we lay her down to sleep or when she thinks I am too far away from her. Most of her cries are silent sobs that are accompanied by big tears. It breaks your heart. When we adopted her, I vowed to love her and raise her as my own biological child and to never abuse her or abandon her but I never vowed not to spoil her. That’s going to be really hard not to do when she can melt your heart with one little glance. Notice in her pictures that she has curly hair, just like her Mama.

We have experienced “Shopping at the Apollo.” The Apollo is a 7-story store where you can buy anything from refrigerators to baby clothes. Kind of like a huge Sears. Each floor is arranged into mini-stores by brand. The process of shopping is a little different than shopping in the US. Here, you pick the item you want, get the sales clerk to write a ticket if the item is in the size you need, then you proceed to the check-out counter and pay for your merchandise. After paying, you return to the sales clerk and she will collect your receipts and give you your merchandise. Of course, you can wander around the store picking out things and collecting tickets and pay all at once. I recommend this only if you are really good at memory games or can actually read Chinese. And never, I repeat NEVER, attempt to walk around the store with unpaid for merchandise. You WILL be chased down by a team of sales clerks.

Yesterday we visited the Embroidery Factory. I’ll have to admit that I almost passed on that one because watching women embroider sounded as exciting as watching paint dry. I’m glad we went, however, because it was extremely interesting. The factory includes the Hunan Embroidery Research Institute of China and our lovely agency representative, Daphne, gave us a good briefing on the museum contents and the history of embroidery in Hunan. Hunan embroidery is renowned throughout China and it is magnificent. We saw a reproduction of an embroidered picture of President Rooselvelt that looked like a painting. This work was done for President Roosevelt who paid $3,000 for the piece and the original is now in the Roosevelt museum in the Little White House. We also saw magnificent two-sided works, which when flipped over showed a completely different picture or even the back view of the picture on the front.

Tomorrow morning we leave for Guangzhou. Yea! The first half of Chinese Adoptive Parent Boot Camp is almost over. We stayed in the room today except for a foray to the hotel’s playroom. We’re just waiting on paperwork and passports at this time. Tonight we will make our nightly trip down to the Fear Factor restaurant where we will cautiously eat from the Snakes, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails Buffet. Those names are, of course, coined by me. I know there are people who enjoy lifting the lid to a dish and looking eye to eye with a snake slit lengthwise and stuffed with something unknown or seeing tiny baby turtles. And I knew that people ate dogs but wasn’t interested in experiencing it first hand. I prefer my dogs unbraised, thank you very much.

Loving Miss Tabitha

I can’t say it was love at first sight because we loved her before we saw her but holding her really cemented the reality. I’ve had lots of practice with that reality because she doesn’t want me to put her down. She is the Velcro baby that I have read about on so many other adoptive parent blogs. It doesn’t hurt my feelings a bit. I’m learning how to shower and do all the necessary things of the day with her clinging to me. Ba Ba (Father), otherwise known as G-Daddy, is useful for fetching all the things we need but she’s not too keen on him holding her just yet. She has stopped hyperventilating when he comes near, though. I did notice today that when another father in our group came near, she looked at her own Ba Ba. She definitely knows who she belongs to and it is amazing how quickly she figured that out.

She was first placed in our arms yesterday and she cried only briefly. I, however, cried the whole time and still get tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Our group of eleven families all went by bus to a big room at the Register’s office and one by one they called the couples to receive their babies. The room was filled with the sound of crying babies. G-Daddy and I were last ones to receive our baby. She was placed in my arms and the rest of the world disappeared, time stopped, and there were just the three of us looking at each other. I can’t describe the rest of the proceedings because all I can remember are her frightened big brown eyes looking at mine. She is so beautiful and so tiny.

Today, we all piled back on the bus and returned to the Register’s office. All of the babies were a little anxious at getting back on the bus and each clung to the family member that they decided was the most trustworthy. That would still be me for Tabitha. Ba Ba is taking it well and loves her from afar. I wore her in my baby sling and she looked as if she thought that was where she belonged. We completed the last of the paperwork and she is officially ours!!! Like we needed paperwork to know that! We gave all the gifts, signed all the papers, paid all the money and took official pictures. Tabitha did not want the orphanage director to get near her so she is crying in that picture. I think she thought that we were going to give her back. No, sweetheart, we are in this for the long haul and we are yours.

See? China.

Hong Kong

We survived the most grueling 15 ½ hour plane trip ever imaginable (except perhaps the one that we will be making with a toddler perched on our laps for 15 hours). We flew over the North Pole, over China (don‘t worry sweet Tabitha, we‘re flying back), and down to Hong Kong. At about 6 hours into the trip, I thought, “This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” I napped, ate when they served food, became annoyed trying to watch the in-flight movies through people who stood up every 15 minutes just to open the overhead storage and touch their carry-on luggage, and napped some more. G-Daddy entertained himself looking out the plane window and creating a National Geographic special in his head. Occasionally, he woke me to make an announcement like, “We’re flying over the Russian Steppes now,” at which point I would peer bleary-eyed at the whiteness below and say something intelligent like, “Cool.” By the end of the trip we were sleep-deprived, irritable, and sure our bodies could not take any more abuse. We were asleep in the hotel bed by 8:30 pm Hong Kong time.

Today we toured the city through a haze of jet-lag and the smell of Chinese food. There were 114 CCAI adoptive families joining us in 3 bus loads. It was enjoyable even with our tired selves. First we had a dim sum lunch at a restaurant. I was feeling a little ill through the beginning of the meal but was able to eat some. Afterward, we visited the boat-people village, which has a name that has totally escaped me, and rode on a boat through the house boats. These people live their entire lives on the water in their boats. There was one interesting floating restaurant in the middle of the boat people. Our guide, Matthew, said the food was only so-so. It was very fancy in the front but looked extremely unappetizing from the back view.

Next we toured a jewelry factory and were given the opportunity to spend hundreds of dollars on jade and jewelry. We declined the offer, though there were many, many beautiful things to be had. They showed us the workshop and explained the jewelry making process. I missed most of this part of the tour since I was visiting the “Happy House,” our guide’s name for the facilities.

We shopped in an outdoor market, which had cheap prices, then went to the top of a mountain on a smaller island to view the city below. The ride up the mountain was quite interesting since our bus is larger than the narrow street lanes and passed other buses with what looked like, at least from my vantage point, inches to spare. Occasionally, on one of the sharper curves up the mountain, the bus would stop so that another bus could pass. Conveniently located at the top of the mountain was a ritzy shopping area where once again we were offered the chance to spend hundreds of dollars and once again declined.

Back at the hotel, I had a cup of noodles and typed this while G-Daddy slept soundly, but not quietly, still fully dressed where he fell across the bed. Time to join him. (I'll add pictures later, connection is too slow for my jet-lagged mind.)

Stay tuned for Changsha…

It's Travel Time!

Christmas came and we had the grandgirls and their parents over and feasted with extended family. Grandpa and Uncle Steve came and stayed a few days. The house was littered with wrapping paper and bows and plastic cups with names written in marker script on them. Noodle got the My Little Pony Castle which unfolds itself with a touch of a wand and majestic pony music. She later told me that the two things she loved most in life were her pony castle and me. My heart swelled with love and pride at being right up there with the pony castle. Ten-month old Hopers got wrapping paper, boxes, and bows. I think there were some toys in there but she didn't let them get in the way. She did have a fatal attraction to the pony castle which had to be put away since the ponies didn't come with lances and weren't very good at defense.

Then there was New Year's, otherwise known as Christmas Celebration Part II, where Doc T drove up from Tampa with Joe and little Nathan and we filled the living room with another round of wrapping paper and presents. Nathan got Thomas the tank engine stuff and the living room was converted into his personal train station. Doc T and Joe got us LUGGAGE. Now how did they know we needed that?

And now it's travel time! All that waiting and struggling to get the I171H and now we're moving like the gigantic snowball you see in cartoons, rolling down hill, getting bigger and bigger, with ski poles and legs sticking out. Except we have luggage and diapers and 3 ounce toiletry bottles in quart size bags and passports and...well you get the picture. We leave January 10 for an overnight in Tampa then on to Chicago Ohare where we will board the plane for Hong Kong. Fifteen hours and 37 minutes later we will actually be in Hong Kong and it will be Friday, January 12. Too bad hypersleep only exists in science fiction. We leave Hong Kong on January 14 for Changsha, Hunan and on Monday, January 15 we will finally meet our beautiful daughter. There's a whole bunch of stuff after that and we'll go to Guangzhou and do more stuff but I can't seem to focus on those details right now. In fact, I don't seem to be able to focus on much right now. I have lots of details to attend to, packing being the most immediate, but I keep drifting off and forgetting where I am. My grown children will tell you that one of their duties in life has always been to finish my sentences for me, so will one of you Ts get over here and finish this blog? I've got to go look at the

Don't Worry, Sugar, We're Coming!

Hey, we’re waiting AGAIN! This time we’re waiting to travel to bring home the most beautiful baby in all of China. AND we’re still waiting for our I171H from our very own government. Since we couldn’t get an answer from the Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) office to any of our phone calls or emails, we made an appointment using the online appointment maker, no real person involved there either, and drove 3 hours just to ask, “What is the status of this piece of paper that we must have before we can bring our adorable baby girl into the United States?” Basically we were told that the woman who does that job has been on vacation. Apparently, she is the only person in that office who knows how to do her job. I know it’s selfish of me, but I sure hope nothing happens to her before she processes our I171H. I surely don’t want to make another appointment to drive back over and stand at a window and discuss my personal business in a room full of bored immigration-challenged persons with nothing better to do while waiting their turn but to listen to our personal saga, only to be told that I need to quit holding up the line and accept the fact that the USCIS is completely inefficient. They are after all part of Homeland Security. If red tape and bureaucracy can keep our country secure, then we can all sleep easy tonight.

Introducing Miss Tabitha Jian

After two years of waiting, we have finally been blessed with an absolutely beautiful baby girl. She was born on July 23, 2005 and currently resides in Hunan, China. We can't wait to bring her home! I am totally in love with her tiny little face.

We met with our agency at 1:30 today to get the preliminary information and will get a package tomorrow with a few more details. G-Daddy and I both gasped when we saw her picture and tears sprang into our eyes. We couldn't be happier.

All the grown progeny and grandkids will be visiting this weekend along with Grandpa and the chaos is beginning to ensue. More updates later.

Just One More Day, Please

Just one more day, please, and we would be announcing our referral!!!! We missed the cut off by one stinkin day. One day. “The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before August 25, 2005.” But I’m still so excited because we’re NEXT! Sometime in the month of November we will get to see Baby T’s picture and will know how old she is and where she is from and how much she weighs and so forth. Then comes the next step…you got it, shopping. Well, maybe first I’ll cry tears of joy and do the “Happy Snoopy Dance” and I’ll write lists of things to do and buy and I will call everyone I know. There’s all kinds of Real Important Paperwork that I’ll have to do and travel arrangements I’ll have to make but those are just minor details. Shopping will be the first order of business. Right now I just have this incredible nesting urge. I’ve got to go clean something.

October's Referral Eve

It’s referral eve!!!! Or thereabouts. You never know exactly when referrals will arrive from China but I do know from our agency that CCAA is busy making matches. Maybe, just maybe they’re making ours! Most likely we will just miss this round of matches but that means we WILL be next!! I’m not going to be excited about the fact that right now a darling baby girl could be matched with our family. I’m going to be calm and not even think about the fact that I could be looking at my baby’s face any time now. I’m not going to dwell on it. Nope, I’m calm and I’m not thinking about it. Not wondering what Baby T will look like, not obsessively checking my phone over and over to see if I missed a call even though the phone is attached to my waist. Not checking the Rumor Queen site every 15.5 seconds. I am having no problem concentrating on my job, finishing my sentences, remembering why I walked into a room…Wait, that’s not true, I always have problems with those things. But I am perfectly calm. DID YOU KNOW I WILL BE GETTING MY REFERRAL SOON???!!!! I WILL BE TRAVELING TO CHINA TO GET MY BABY GIRL IN DECEMBER OR JANUARY!!!! I’m calm. I’m concentrating on whatever it is that I am supposed to be doing right now.

Fingerprinted, Again or Assault with a Deadly Tampon

No we haven’t committed any crimes. At least not lately. But there’s this pesky form called the I171-H that you must have if you want to adopt a child internationally and getting the I171-H involves being fingerprinted and having a home study done complete with other types of background checks, letters of reference, and a clean bill of health. To make things more exciting and to make it even harder to adopt, each little piece of this process has an expiration date and all of them are different! Regardless of the expiration dates, we have been in this process of adopting our littlest T so long that everything has expired. Therefore, we all (me, G-Daddy, and Big T) trooped over to the Jacksonville Homeland Security Office, because only Jacksonville Homeland Security People can be trusted to do fingerprints in this area of the state. We left our liquids, cell phones, and sharp objects (of which the men in my family seem to carry a wide variety) in the car. At least I didn’t throw tampons at the guards this time. Last fingerprinting episode I was taken by surprise by the security measures and had my purse packed with all types of womanly essentials including chocolate, tampons, lipstick, lotion, books, a mirror, unpaid bills, toys, breath mints, hair essentials, a small vacuum cleaner, hand sanitizer, and so forth, very few of which were sharp objects but when combined could probably be made into some sort of weapon. When the hubby gathered up all the non-allowed objects to return them to the car, I handed over my purse. I decided at the last moment to reach over and remove my reading glasses, which, unfortunately, had that granny necklace thing on them that pulled out a dozen tampons with it and flung them all over the security guard. I guess I’m lucky tampons aren’t considered a deadly weapon or I would be blogging from my prison cell. Needless to say the guard was a little surprised. This current visit was much smoother and now we’re back to WAITING for Baby T.

More Waiting and My Birthday

Okay, so all I'm doing is waiting. I'm going through the motions of life and part of me is really participating but the rest of me is just sitting there waiting for our new daughter. I know we're near term but no one else can tell. There's no maternity clothing, no expanding waistline. Well…maybe there is an expanding waistline but it's not due to the new life that will soon join our family, it's due to all the comfort food I've been eating. I'm going to be a new mama soon and I'm really preoccupied with that knowledge. What will she look like? How old will she be? Will she love me as much as I already love her? Will she forgive me for being old? Will my other children love her? Am I ready?

I've been telling people, just a couple of more months until we get our baby for about six months now. After a quizzical look from a male coworker, I explained that it's like football minutes. You know, when there's 3 minutes left on the clock and it takes an hour and twenty minutes to actually finish the game. Someone tell China that they've used all their time-outs. There's no flag on the play, get on with the game! I've decided I should start digging and maybe by the time we get our referral, I'll have made it to China. I'll just need a really long bath. Think of all the money we'll save on airfare.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I am now two years older than I was when I started this process. I love my birthday, though, because I love living and I'll take every day the Lord gives me. This year is a milestone year for me. My mother was first diagnosed with her cancer when she was the age I am now and even though I know it's irrational, I feared my mamogram this year more than any other year. When they called me to come in for an additional ultrasound, I had a sinking feeling and all I could think was that there would be no trip to China now. Today they sent me a letter casually informing me that my "recent mamogram/ultrasound showed no signs of cancer." An early birthday present. So I can shout, "WOOHOO, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!"