Monday, January 26, 2009

We Are Home!

We're home!!!!! The plane trip was uneventful compared to some trips that have been in the news lately and I was extremely grateful to the Lord for a trip free of aeronautical mishaps. Inside the calm exterior of all our flights, however, mayhem ruled. A special thank you to the man who sat in front of Tobey on the 14 hour flight and graciously endured having his seat back kicked and pushed when Tobey wasn't busy gagging into the little bags provided for your discomfort convenience. The poor child has terrible motion sickness which began early in our trip on the bus to the airport. Tabitha was so out of sorts and so tightly wound that she could only sleep in ten minute increments that were punctuated with intervals of screaming. I know her little body must have ached, as mine did, because she kept yelling out, "You're hurting me!" I wasn't doing any such thing but got a lot of odd looks from fellow passengers. We endured three plane rides somehow and looked forward to hearing the announcement to put your tray tables and seats in the upright position and strap yourself in your tiny seats. And for those of you in first class, cover your hot tubs, return your personal masseuse to his/her seat and quit lolling about in your luxury reclining seats while the attendants feed you grapes. Yeah, I was a little envious of those superior accommodations.

Tobey has done quite well in adjusting to his new home. He is really a remarkable and intelligent child. When we finally pulled up to our home and told him in Mandarin that he was home his little face lit up with the biggest smile you have ever seen. He ran to our front porch and climbed in Tabitha's little plastic car and used it inside for the rest of the evening. He has played non-stop since we got home. We did have to make a trip to WalMart for a baby doll for him since Tabitha would not share hers. He loves dolls and live babies and is very gentle and caring with them. While at WalMart, I also got him a bicycle and helmet. He loooves his new bike and wears the helmet and little knee pads most of the day. When he isn't riding his bike around the house, he has his new ge ge (word for big brother, pronounced guh guh) carry him around. He loves his big brother. When Ge ge is home, he is Tobey's favorite mode of transport. In fact he loves everything about his new home except our dogs and bedtime.

We're still ironing out that twelve hour difference in time and that whole jet-lag phenomenon. The first morning the kids got up at 4:30 am, second morning at 12:00 noon. I got them up at 10:00 a.m. yesterday and plan for a little earlier today. Night time has been awful since Tobey does NOT want to be alone despite the fact that we were told he did sleep alone in his foster home. Tabitha complicated matters by screaming for me when I tried to sit by him to get him to sleep and one of the nights I had a stomach upset again that kept me up most of the night. Finally last night I compromised with the two children and slept with them in Tabitha's bed, queen size, thankfully.

Tobey has met his nieces and had fun playing with them. He calls them "friends" in Mandarin. It will take a while for that relationship concept to get ironed out. It's hard for adults to figure out! We celebrated his big sister's 30th birthday last night. Wow, I have a 30 year old daughter and a 31 year old daughter and a 24 year old son. And a 3 year old and a 5 year old... Geesh, what was I thinking?!!! Oh well, no time for thinking now!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Two More Days

I am sooooo ready to come home. An adoption trip is exhausting, not even close to being a vacation. Today, Tuesday, was our consulate appointment and we had a glitch. One of the notaries used by the agency had an expired license so we get to notarize some stuff tomorrow. (Faye, could you meet us over here and take care of this?) We will still be able to do our swearing in ceremony tomorrow at the consulate and then head home the next day. Yay!!!! A 25 hour grueling airplane trip with two wild children and I am actually looking forward to leaving.

I think we need to get Tobey home and start working on what it means to have parents. Watching his behavior when we are out in public, I see that he thinks all Chinese women are put on earth to take care of him and that all he has to do is demand help. When we are at restaurants, he will yell across the room in Mandarin, "Ayi (Auntie), bring me some milk!" (or coke or whatever) The women at the laundry gave him candy once and now he demands candy from them everytime we pass the laundry, which is, unfortunately, right outside the hotel entrance. He tries to run to them if I don't restrain him. He strikes up a conversation with every Chinese woman in sight where ever we go. Of course, I don't know what they are talking about unless they tell me. The women always indulge him and give him free things if I refuse to buy something for him. Until we have him away from this environment, I will not be able to get him to bond with us. He is quite the character.

This morning he finally had a meltdown. He was first to get out of bed and promptly began turning the lights off and on and the radio off and on. He worked himself into a wild frenzy, running around acting crazy in general. When we didn't react other than to look fairly unhappy as we went about our morning routine, he put himself in timeout with his face in a corner. I have not punished him this way so it must be a form of punishment he had before. After awhile I tried to let him know that all was okay and he didn't have to stand there but he refused to budge. When I carried him away and tried to cuddle him, he fought against me and returned to the corner and began to cry. I decided to take Tabitha to breakfast to give him some time but my leaving set off some terrible wailing. I came back into the room and held him and rocked him while he cried loudly for about 15 more minutes. Stroking his face, I told him in Mandarin and in English that I loved him. Finally, he stopped crying, stroked my face and said in English, "I love you, Mama." That brought tears to my eyes. The rest of the day he was fairly calm but did have one other mini-meltdown in the afternoon.

Hopefully things will go smoothly tomorrow. Pray for my patience,please.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Guangzhou

On Saturday we shook the pollution of Nanning off our shoes and headed for Guangzhou. I think the hotel and Nanning had to be downgraded a star after we vacated our room. Tobey had his first plane trip and smiled and nodded his head to show his approval of the view from above. He had been asking about the plane every since he met us. We had a few tray table and seat belt skirmishes but Mom won. It was an hour long trip with children peering over the seats, under the seats, and out the window. A whirlwind of activity. Both children promptly fell asleep as we taxied around the runway after landing. Tabitha, seasoned traveler that she is, was able to sleep on my shoulder as I carried her through the airport. Tobey had to walk since his BaBa had to carry all the backpacks.

On route to the White Swan our bus emitted the unmistakable odor of burning engine parts and then quit running. Right in the middle of six lanes of traffic, we unloaded our suitcases and children and climbed aboard the replacement bus. The rest of the trip to the hotel was quite boring in comparison, thankfully.

The White Swan was a familiar but welcome sight as it actually earns its stars. You still can’t drink the water but it is sumptuously decorated with elegant antiques, which, are for sale for those of you who haven’t spent your entire life savings and retirement fund on adoption. It is situated on an island, Shamian Island, in the Pearl River. The streets are pleasant, clean, and lined with well-kept parks. Many tourists pass through here, which means we are less a rarity and can walk the streets without drawing crowds or stares. Most locals speak English and many people here will strike up conversations with you.

I spent Saturday night writhing about on the bathroom floor and was a ghost of myself all Sunday. Finally, Monday, I joined the living once again. We went to the clinic today for Tobey’s physical. It was utter mayhem as about 40 adoptive families and their screaming children gathered in a small room for their turns at the check-up stations. First a doctor checked Tobey over, then he was weighed and measured. The next station checked his ears and throat and finally his vision was checked. I guess he passed all tests, none of the medical personnel spoke English or at least did not communicate with us. Our guide said everything was fine.

This afternoon we went to a traditional Chinese dry goods market. It was extremely interesting to say the least. I’ll post some pictures. We saw dried snakes, lizards, starfish, fungi, deer bones, various plants, other seafoods, and many other unidentified items. For some reason, all the vendors wanted to sell me a little box of saffron. What does one do with saffron, anyway? There was even a pet store with cute puppies and dog clothes, beds, and so forth. There were a couple of big dogs in cages that were not affiliated with the pet store and I didn’t have the heart to ask why they were there.

The kids are doing great but when we get back someone needs to meet me at the airport with a vat of Ritalin and a dart gun for administration and, oh yeah, a diet Coke for me (without that nasty lemon flavor and lots of ice, please.) Better bring a sedative for George, too. Our boy is WILD. I’m hoping he will settle down once we get him home but right now he will not obey even when told in Mandarin. He has spells where he yells or laughs manically at the top of his lungs and moves from one bad behavior to the next. He seems to loose all control of his actions and laughs at us when we try to correct him. We have made some inroads, in that we can get him to sit in a chair or at least stand by the table in the restaurants. At first we had to chase him down and return him to his seat every five minutes. Part of the China Adoption Diet and Exercise Plan.

Back home when I looked at Tobey’s sweet little face, I prepared myself for maybe a sad, withdrawn little boy, some tears and crying, or an angry combative child with temper tantrums. Or maybe even a combination of all the above. I did not imagine a willful, mischievous child so full of life that he is bursting at the seams. And a child who has absolutely no self-control and no concept of discipline or at least none that shows. He does seem to have a good self image (that of Emperor of all the World) and good coping skills. He told Ming Ming that his new MaMa loves him very much and that his new parents are very rich. At least he has the first half right.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

More Tobey

Yesterday we went to the zoo with our wonderful guide, MingMing, and our fellow travelers. All the kids were a little cranky. Well, okay, the adults (except MingMing who couldn’t be cranky if she tried) were a little cranky too, though we hid it better than the kids did. We brought along a stroller that we purchased at the local WalMart, which, by the way, is far more interesting than the zoo. Not that the zoo wasn’t great, it’s just that the Chinese WalMart makes you feel as if you are in an alternate universe where cattle have been replaced with squid. But back to the stroller, Tobey wanted to push Tabitha in the stroller and Tabitha did not want to be pushed by Tobey and those of you familiar with small children know that this meant there was a lot of screaming and whining going on. We decided to rent a stroller at the zoo for Tobey and when he realized that it was for him, he couldn’t quit grinning with happiness. He really has a need to be babied. We got him a helium balloon and he told MingMing that he had had a balloon before but the gas went out of it. He was so proud of his balloon.
Today we went to a mountain, I’ll have to add the name later. George and Tobey climbed the tower there that allows a view of the entire city of Nanning. The view is there but unfortunately it is obscured by smog. The surrounding area really is very beautiful. I enjoyed the view from the ground with Tabitha while George did his best to keep Tobey from falling out the windows of the tower. While there, we met an adopting Mom and one of Tobey’s friends from his orphanage (see picture). He was very happy to see her and to show off his new American Mom. He greeted her then began kicking at her feet in typical boy fashion.
Tobey is a very outgoing and happy child. He has not grieved yet for his home or past life but I know it will come at some point. He has been trying to see just how much he can get away with his new parents but is otherwise extremely loving toward us. When other Chinese people talk to him, he chatters happily away but keeps close to us. He picks on his sister but makes sure that she has her share of food or water. If he gets something, he wants one for her also. He’s very gentle and caring with younger children. He’s headstrong and hyper so he should fit in very well!
We’re exhausted and George is extremely irritable and grouchy. A lot more so than I am and he isn’t even trying to hide the fact. I can say that about him because it is my blog and he doesn’t edit. I’ve considered sending him home early but I need him to do all the money transactions and tell me which direction I’m headed. So I guess I’ll let him stay. He’s in time out in the lobby of our floor right now and the kids are napping. Boy do I love nap time. These kids of mine can wear you out in an hour. But aren’t they adorable? Otherwise I would have already pinched their little heads off.
Tomorrow, more paperwork, kid herding, and Chinese food (again). Friday we head for Guangzhou.

Big boots to fill.























Monday, January 12, 2009

Tobey






We have him!!!! He is definitely ALL boy and soooo handsome. I actually got a kiss on the ride back to the hotel. I kissed on his cheeks and he grabbed my face and kissed me right back!! What a sweetie. He happily played with the little toys we brought for him--putting them in his new back pack and out again. Thomas the Tank Engine and the small track was a big hit.
We walked into the Provincial Affairs Office, which was actually a room in a hotel set up as a sitting area, and there he was beaming at us. He recognized his Daddy immediately. That beard gives him away every time. He got out his picture book that the orphanage had made for me and showed me his pictures. Then he got out the picture album that we had sent to him and we named all the people. Tabitha clung to me and cried the entire time. She hasn't been feeling well today, had her nap cut short to go get him, and was eaten up with jealousy. Once we got back to our hotel, she was fine. They began to play together very well. She kept telling me, "Tobey's not talking, Mama!
Then night fell or we fed him or got him wet. I'm not sure what the catalyst was but he suddenly became very hyper and ran around the room playing with things he shouldn't and mocking us by repeating our words back to us and chattering non-stop in Chinese. We managed baths, teeth brushing, approximately half a story and then wrestled him down into bedtime submission. It is hard to set limits on wild behavior when he understands nothing that we say to him! I'm sure he was feeling out of control with this major change in his life and he had no other way to let us know. Whew, we've got to get this language thing ironed out. George has been able to communicate somewhat in Chinese but he doesn't know everything Tobey says. I can guess that it goes something like this: "My new parents are imbeciles, they can't speak intelligently, and they don't know how to control me! Ahhhhheeeeeeeeee (sound of wild scream)." He was even too out of control for Tabitha after a while and in true sibling fashion, she cried, "His legs are touching meeeeeee!" when we were attempting to put them down for the night.
He did demonstrate for us that he can write his name in Chinese characters and he can write the numbers 1 through 10 and can count. He sang several songs, though I didn't understand the words. And did I say how cute he is?
Tomorrow is another day and I need rest for the challenges ahead. I'll add pictures tomorrow. More to come....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

We Made It to China

After a grueling 26 hours of travel time, not counting the drive to the Jacksonville airport, we finally made it to China. I think we must have looped around the world a couple of times! The plane trips were excrutiatingly awful. We sat on the runway in Detroit for an hour in snow fall while they de-iced the plane by hand because the de-icer thingy part of the plane(just skip over the technical jargon in my narrative if you don't understand it) didn't work and they had to search for another airplane starter thingy because the one they were using wouldn't make the engine turn over. I thought we were all going to have to all get out and push while the pilot turned the starter over. This delay made us nearly miss our connecting flight in Tokyo. We made a comical dash through the security checkpoint, slinging 3 oz bottles of toilitries electonic parts at the airport guards. And how was I to know you don't have to take your shoes off like you do in the US? They looked kind of alarmed when I started removing them and began saying something that sounded like no remove clothing. Geepers people, I was just taking my shoes off!

I was meant to be a first class kind of girl but, since by some cruel twist of fate, I don't have first class money, I was relegated to the cramped sardine can-like quarters of coach with 400 or so of my best friends and George, who coughed the entire trip, and Tabitha (another first class kinda girl) who cried for most of the long flight. She could not sleep sitting up, she could not, would not, sleep stretched out across us but COULD sleep on top of me as long as I did not move or breathe. I stayed awake most of the flight and watched a string of really bad movies. Those headsets help drown out the crying and coughing.

We spent the night in the Novotel Hotel in Guangzhou--it was the best of our China hotel experiences from our two trips (thus far). Very fancy and modern with a glass wall between the bathroom and the rest of the room. What's up with that!? Definitely not a family oriented amenity. Since I'm of the bathroom business is a private affair mind set, I quickly found the button that lowered a shade down between the two rooms. We left Guangzhou on yet another miserable plane ride and landed in Nanning this afternoon.

We will be in Nanning for 6 days and have settled in (pretty much trashed) our hotel room. This hotel, which gives itself 5 stars, due to some serious lack of competition, is just okay by my ratings (with its rock hard miniature double beds). We had room service tonight because the restaurant was full when we arrived. They have no, there's a 45 minute wait, here's your little buzzy thingy. It was just,"We're full, try again another day!" Allrighty, then. Tabitha fell asleep as we carried her to the restaurant so we were probably better off with room service anyway. The food was delicious, however. I was so hungry, I could have eaten a giant squid, which is highly likely in China.

Tomorrow afternoon we get Tobey! Tabitha tells everyone he is her Tobey and she has been setting aside toys of hers for him to play with. For those of you know how well she shares, this action is monumental! Stay tuned....
Tabitha at the Jacksonville hotel.

At the Detroit airport. It was starting to snow outside.

Tabitha sleeping on the airplane between meltdowns.

In one of the fancy sitting areas at the Novotel. This one's for Lori.

Nautilus shaped fountain at the Novotel. The texture of the nautilus is created by large crystals. Fancy.

Tabitha with the daughter of a couple from our adoption agency who will be traveling with us to Nanning and back to Guangzhou. They have become bff already.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

We're Going to China!!!

We are leaving Friday morning from Jacksonville to fly to China. Tobey, we're coming to get you, baby! After a year of planning, frustration, anxiety, and waiting on our part, we are going!!! We had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's with family and now it is time to GO! But first I have to pack and organize. Here's what I have done so far:

Doesn't someone, anyone want to come over and get this mess organized?!!! (Sounds of panic) I was going to post some Christmas pictures also but that will have to wait. Obviously, I need to be doing something else.