A Pox on Your Child

People in medieval times believed that chicken pox was due to a curse. Tabitha just might agree with them after the past two days of her bout with chicken pox. She was one sick little baby. Apparently, she was exposed while still in the orphanage since the nearly two week stay with us in China fits the incubation period for the illness. Four of the 11 babies in our group have chicken pox. One of them we are very worried about; she has them in her eyes. We've exposed Hopers, who is unvaccinated, Doc T, who is pregnant, and the one billion people we came into contact with as we flew across the world on three flights, one of which included a 4 hour layover at the Chicago O'Hare airport. Sorry about that, we didn't know until the next day that the irritability was chicken pox. There were many things to be irritable about. Fourteen hour flights tend to do that to people.

Yesterday Tabitha felt much better and achieved several new accomplishments. After watching niece Hopers crawl across the floor, she decided crawling might be fun. No more staying in one room. She can walk but floor coverings and shoes are tricky things when you’re just learning and tend to trip you up when you least expect it. Crawling can get you somewhere quickly and if you fall, well, there’s only like 3 inches to the floor. You might think that a walking baby would already know how to crawl but because most orphanages are not heated, the babies are dressed in so many layers of clothing that they resemble starfish and are not given much tummy time on the cold floor. Not very conducive to crawling so they skip that stage and move on to walking.

The accomplishment she was most proud of was her mastery of the rocking chair. She knew it was kid-sized but she couldn’t get her short little legs high enough to climb in. Then baby Hopers, aka The Giant Baby, came to visit and climbed in with ease. Hopers, though 8 months younger, is a little taller than Tabitha and has been mobile since she was 4 months old so it was an easy feat for her. Not to be outdone by a 10-month-old, Tabitha figured out how to climb up also. Today she climbed in and out of the rocking chair 100s of times with the intense concentration of an Olympic athlete in training.

We have great plans for Tabitha and nieces Hopers and Noodle to become good friends. This will be especially convenient for us since big sister T will be watching Tabitha during the day when I return to work. Right now, Tabitha will not let anyone besides me hold her and has no use for other children, except as role models in exploring her world. Noodles, being a mature 5 year old, can get Tabitha to laugh and is very patient with her pushing her away and slapping at her. She thinks Tabitha is too cute and, of course, reinforces all the wrong behaviors by laughing at them. Each day, though, we see a happier and more secure baby, one who is accepting and liking her new world.

Last Day in China

Today was our last day in China and we are ready to come home! The day began around 3:00 am with a snuggly baby girl crying to get in bed with me, after which she did acrobatics in a light sleep while I tried to keep her from falling off our twin bed. For some reason, the double rooms we've had here in China contain two twin beds. My only complaint of the room--American sized people need bigger beds! After a couple more hours of keeping the baby on the bed we got ready for the day and headed down to the breakfast buffet. It was plain toast for me today since my stomach is definitely tired of Chinese food. I tried Tabitha once more with the congee, the baby food staple of China, but she shook her head no violently and pointed at the buffet. Now she knows, there's more to food than congee.

After breakfast we went with our group to the Guangzhou Zoo. Tabitha slept through the first half but enjoyed seeing all the animals. I thought it was a good warm up for our house of dachshunds, especially the part where you can go in the monkey habitat and hand feed them. We actually just watched since I don't think monkeys and babies mix well, at least not as well as dachshunds and babies. Apparently, lawyers aren't allowed in China because in the US there would be at least 30 lawsuits per day over this monkey business. The zoo was an old zoo, very well kept and very pretty. The one resident 60 year old panda even got up and stretched his arthritic bones for us.

Next there was souvenir shopping around the hotel. We didn't get anything yesterday at the Pearl market, sorry guys, so thought we better at least get some "My friends went to China to adopt and all we get to do is babysit" t-shirts for our friends back home.

Finally, there was the trip to the consulate where we completed the last step in China needed for Tabitha's adoption. We swore an oath that we were truthful in our paperwork and had our passports checked for the millionth time on this trip. As soon as our plane lands in Chicago, Tabitha will be a US citizen! Someone needs to greet us at the airport with a Happy Meal since she swore an oath never to eat congee again. Some nice Chinese ladies talked with her on the steps to the consulate in Chinese. I don't know what they said but when one tried to touch her she pushed her hand away and turned her head. The lady probably offered her congee.

Yea! We're coming home now with our tiny opinionated US citizen.

Pictures

Here are pictures of the "Red Couch" in the White Swan, of our trip to the Buddhist Temple, and us walking around the hotel. As you can see, Tabitha did not like the picture taking on the red couch. That's because she couldn't touch me and that's a big no no in her world right now. More blogging later; we're off to the Pearl Market.

Welcome to the White Swan

Yesterday, after a harrowing bus drive through Changsha that involved a lot of honking, we made it to the airport, which involved a lot of standing around. Our sweet agency rep, Daphne, sang children's songs and a Hunan folk song on the trip. She told us of her pride for her country and her wish that we teach our children about their beautiful country and teach them to speak Mandarin so that one day they could come to visit. She told us how happy she is that we were adopting China's orphaned daughters and giving them opportunities that they would never have had as orphans. She gave each child a small embroidered bag of soil from their homeland so that they would never be lonely for China.

At the airport, apparently, the person weighing our group's luggage had a heavy thumb and decided that our group of eleven families needed to pay around 2,000 RMB fee (about $260 US) for overweight luggage. Our guides haggled with them, but the group, fearful that our luggage might be delayed or may not make it to the same destination as us, decided to cough up the money. Hmmm, an interesting experience, one of many on this trip. During the hour long haggling, our group drew a crowd of curious Chinese onlookers. We must have been quite a spectacle to them, a group of Americans with little Chinese daughters. Families with little children and grandparents gathered and stood about two feet away from us, pointing and laughing. It is quite a different experience not to blend in with your surroundings, one that your average white American doesn't experience often. The onlookers were only curious and were friendly so no one was bothered by their stares. We know we look weird.

Now we are at the White Swan which, is quite sumptuous. It is filled with shops of expensive clothing and antiques costing around 3 bazillion RMB each. Our view from the window of our room is of the Pearl river and the city beyond. It is still gray and drizzly here and cool but we're hoping for sunshine tomorrow. We ate at the hotel restaurant, which will probably be our only time to do so, except for the included breakfast buffet, since the meal cost us around $80.00 US. The food was very good, however. I sat with the Princess while BaBa fetched our food so I didn't get to see if it boasted the same foods as Changsha but the fish on the buffet did stare at us as we walked to our table. And their stares didn't look friendly.

Today BaBa did the paperwork for the American consulate while I took Tabitha on our first mother-daughter shopping trip. Before we left the hotel room, though, Tabitha let me in on a little secret she had been keeping from us. She can WALK! What a stinker, she plopped down and cried every time I stood her on her feet before. Today I sat on her the floor while I hooked up the computer and from the mirror above the desk I saw her walking behind me. It is still the toddling, lurching walk of a novice but she walked across the room. Her little personality is starting to emerge from her shyness. Daphne told us that Hunan people are known for their spicy foods and our babies were spicy chili peppers. I never believed that about my sweet little Princess but today I saw her throw a toy in a snit. You go girl! Your going to need that pepper personality to keep up with your nieces. You know the famous Noodle and Hopers, co-authors of the best sellers, "How to Wreck a Room in 7 Seconds," "Ten Sounds Guaranteed to Make Adults Cringe," "Body Art With Markers," and "Decorating With Flour." Now we're off to take the famous red couch pictures. Check back later for photos.

More Changsha

Little by little, Tabitha Jian Jian is warming to us. She still spends 90% of her time in my arms but is now playing with toys and giving us sweet little smiles. This morning she even laughed out loud when I tickled her. Her favorite activities so far are playing with stacking toys and her spoon and cup, looking at her gorgeous self in the mirror and making calls on Skype from Mama’s lap. The only time she vocalizes is in front of the computer as she moves her index finger around the mouse pad. She’s a fast learner; she’ll have her own blog in no time. She’s a very easy baby to care for since she pretty much stays where you put her and only plays with the things you give her. She cries only when we lay her down to sleep or when she thinks I am too far away from her. Most of her cries are silent sobs that are accompanied by big tears. It breaks your heart. When we adopted her, I vowed to love her and raise her as my own biological child and to never abuse her or abandon her but I never vowed not to spoil her. That’s going to be really hard not to do when she can melt your heart with one little glance. Notice in her pictures that she has curly hair, just like her Mama.

We have experienced “Shopping at the Apollo.” The Apollo is a 7-story store where you can buy anything from refrigerators to baby clothes. Kind of like a huge Sears. Each floor is arranged into mini-stores by brand. The process of shopping is a little different than shopping in the US. Here, you pick the item you want, get the sales clerk to write a ticket if the item is in the size you need, then you proceed to the check-out counter and pay for your merchandise. After paying, you return to the sales clerk and she will collect your receipts and give you your merchandise. Of course, you can wander around the store picking out things and collecting tickets and pay all at once. I recommend this only if you are really good at memory games or can actually read Chinese. And never, I repeat NEVER, attempt to walk around the store with unpaid for merchandise. You WILL be chased down by a team of sales clerks.

Yesterday we visited the Embroidery Factory. I’ll have to admit that I almost passed on that one because watching women embroider sounded as exciting as watching paint dry. I’m glad we went, however, because it was extremely interesting. The factory includes the Hunan Embroidery Research Institute of China and our lovely agency representative, Daphne, gave us a good briefing on the museum contents and the history of embroidery in Hunan. Hunan embroidery is renowned throughout China and it is magnificent. We saw a reproduction of an embroidered picture of President Rooselvelt that looked like a painting. This work was done for President Roosevelt who paid $3,000 for the piece and the original is now in the Roosevelt museum in the Little White House. We also saw magnificent two-sided works, which when flipped over showed a completely different picture or even the back view of the picture on the front.

Tomorrow morning we leave for Guangzhou. Yea! The first half of Chinese Adoptive Parent Boot Camp is almost over. We stayed in the room today except for a foray to the hotel’s playroom. We’re just waiting on paperwork and passports at this time. Tonight we will make our nightly trip down to the Fear Factor restaurant where we will cautiously eat from the Snakes, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails Buffet. Those names are, of course, coined by me. I know there are people who enjoy lifting the lid to a dish and looking eye to eye with a snake slit lengthwise and stuffed with something unknown or seeing tiny baby turtles. And I knew that people ate dogs but wasn’t interested in experiencing it first hand. I prefer my dogs unbraised, thank you very much.

Loving Miss Tabitha

I can’t say it was love at first sight because we loved her before we saw her but holding her really cemented the reality. I’ve had lots of practice with that reality because she doesn’t want me to put her down. She is the Velcro baby that I have read about on so many other adoptive parent blogs. It doesn’t hurt my feelings a bit. I’m learning how to shower and do all the necessary things of the day with her clinging to me. Ba Ba (Father), otherwise known as G-Daddy, is useful for fetching all the things we need but she’s not too keen on him holding her just yet. She has stopped hyperventilating when he comes near, though. I did notice today that when another father in our group came near, she looked at her own Ba Ba. She definitely knows who she belongs to and it is amazing how quickly she figured that out.

She was first placed in our arms yesterday and she cried only briefly. I, however, cried the whole time and still get tears in my eyes just thinking about it. Our group of eleven families all went by bus to a big room at the Register’s office and one by one they called the couples to receive their babies. The room was filled with the sound of crying babies. G-Daddy and I were last ones to receive our baby. She was placed in my arms and the rest of the world disappeared, time stopped, and there were just the three of us looking at each other. I can’t describe the rest of the proceedings because all I can remember are her frightened big brown eyes looking at mine. She is so beautiful and so tiny.

Today, we all piled back on the bus and returned to the Register’s office. All of the babies were a little anxious at getting back on the bus and each clung to the family member that they decided was the most trustworthy. That would still be me for Tabitha. Ba Ba is taking it well and loves her from afar. I wore her in my baby sling and she looked as if she thought that was where she belonged. We completed the last of the paperwork and she is officially ours!!! Like we needed paperwork to know that! We gave all the gifts, signed all the papers, paid all the money and took official pictures. Tabitha did not want the orphanage director to get near her so she is crying in that picture. I think she thought that we were going to give her back. No, sweetheart, we are in this for the long haul and we are yours.

See? China.

Hong Kong

We survived the most grueling 15 ½ hour plane trip ever imaginable (except perhaps the one that we will be making with a toddler perched on our laps for 15 hours). We flew over the North Pole, over China (don‘t worry sweet Tabitha, we‘re flying back), and down to Hong Kong. At about 6 hours into the trip, I thought, “This isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” I napped, ate when they served food, became annoyed trying to watch the in-flight movies through people who stood up every 15 minutes just to open the overhead storage and touch their carry-on luggage, and napped some more. G-Daddy entertained himself looking out the plane window and creating a National Geographic special in his head. Occasionally, he woke me to make an announcement like, “We’re flying over the Russian Steppes now,” at which point I would peer bleary-eyed at the whiteness below and say something intelligent like, “Cool.” By the end of the trip we were sleep-deprived, irritable, and sure our bodies could not take any more abuse. We were asleep in the hotel bed by 8:30 pm Hong Kong time.

Today we toured the city through a haze of jet-lag and the smell of Chinese food. There were 114 CCAI adoptive families joining us in 3 bus loads. It was enjoyable even with our tired selves. First we had a dim sum lunch at a restaurant. I was feeling a little ill through the beginning of the meal but was able to eat some. Afterward, we visited the boat-people village, which has a name that has totally escaped me, and rode on a boat through the house boats. These people live their entire lives on the water in their boats. There was one interesting floating restaurant in the middle of the boat people. Our guide, Matthew, said the food was only so-so. It was very fancy in the front but looked extremely unappetizing from the back view.

Next we toured a jewelry factory and were given the opportunity to spend hundreds of dollars on jade and jewelry. We declined the offer, though there were many, many beautiful things to be had. They showed us the workshop and explained the jewelry making process. I missed most of this part of the tour since I was visiting the “Happy House,” our guide’s name for the facilities.

We shopped in an outdoor market, which had cheap prices, then went to the top of a mountain on a smaller island to view the city below. The ride up the mountain was quite interesting since our bus is larger than the narrow street lanes and passed other buses with what looked like, at least from my vantage point, inches to spare. Occasionally, on one of the sharper curves up the mountain, the bus would stop so that another bus could pass. Conveniently located at the top of the mountain was a ritzy shopping area where once again we were offered the chance to spend hundreds of dollars and once again declined.

Back at the hotel, I had a cup of noodles and typed this while G-Daddy slept soundly, but not quietly, still fully dressed where he fell across the bed. Time to join him. (I'll add pictures later, connection is too slow for my jet-lagged mind.)

Stay tuned for Changsha…

It's Travel Time!

Christmas came and we had the grandgirls and their parents over and feasted with extended family. Grandpa and Uncle Steve came and stayed a few days. The house was littered with wrapping paper and bows and plastic cups with names written in marker script on them. Noodle got the My Little Pony Castle which unfolds itself with a touch of a wand and majestic pony music. She later told me that the two things she loved most in life were her pony castle and me. My heart swelled with love and pride at being right up there with the pony castle. Ten-month old Hopers got wrapping paper, boxes, and bows. I think there were some toys in there but she didn't let them get in the way. She did have a fatal attraction to the pony castle which had to be put away since the ponies didn't come with lances and weren't very good at defense.

Then there was New Year's, otherwise known as Christmas Celebration Part II, where Doc T drove up from Tampa with Joe and little Nathan and we filled the living room with another round of wrapping paper and presents. Nathan got Thomas the tank engine stuff and the living room was converted into his personal train station. Doc T and Joe got us LUGGAGE. Now how did they know we needed that?

And now it's travel time! All that waiting and struggling to get the I171H and now we're moving like the gigantic snowball you see in cartoons, rolling down hill, getting bigger and bigger, with ski poles and legs sticking out. Except we have luggage and diapers and 3 ounce toiletry bottles in quart size bags and passports and...well you get the picture. We leave January 10 for an overnight in Tampa then on to Chicago Ohare where we will board the plane for Hong Kong. Fifteen hours and 37 minutes later we will actually be in Hong Kong and it will be Friday, January 12. Too bad hypersleep only exists in science fiction. We leave Hong Kong on January 14 for Changsha, Hunan and on Monday, January 15 we will finally meet our beautiful daughter. There's a whole bunch of stuff after that and we'll go to Guangzhou and do more stuff but I can't seem to focus on those details right now. In fact, I don't seem to be able to focus on much right now. I have lots of details to attend to, packing being the most immediate, but I keep drifting off and forgetting where I am. My grown children will tell you that one of their duties in life has always been to finish my sentences for me, so will one of you Ts get over here and finish this blog? I've got to go look at the