Okay, so all I'm doing is waiting. I'm going through the motions of life and part of me is really participating but the rest of me is just sitting there waiting for our new daughter. I know we're near term but no one else can tell. There's no maternity clothing, no expanding waistline. Well…maybe there is an expanding waistline but it's not due to the new life that will soon join our family, it's due to all the comfort food I've been eating. I'm going to be a new mama soon and I'm really preoccupied with that knowledge. What will she look like? How old will she be? Will she love me as much as I already love her? Will she forgive me for being old? Will my other children love her? Am I ready?
I've been telling people, just a couple of more months until we get our baby for about six months now. After a quizzical look from a male coworker, I explained that it's like football minutes. You know, when there's 3 minutes left on the clock and it takes an hour and twenty minutes to actually finish the game. Someone tell China that they've used all their time-outs. There's no flag on the play, get on with the game! I've decided I should start digging and maybe by the time we get our referral, I'll have made it to China. I'll just need a really long bath. Think of all the money we'll save on airfare.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I am now two years older than I was when I started this process. I love my birthday, though, because I love living and I'll take every day the Lord gives me. This year is a milestone year for me. My mother was first diagnosed with her cancer when she was the age I am now and even though I know it's irrational, I feared my mamogram this year more than any other year. When they called me to come in for an additional ultrasound, I had a sinking feeling and all I could think was that there would be no trip to China now. Today they sent me a letter casually informing me that my "recent mamogram/ultrasound showed no signs of cancer." An early birthday present. So I can shout, "WOOHOO, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!!!"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment