The Face of Confidence

Okay, I will admit that I am a very inconsistent blogger. Raising a toddler is consuming all my resources. (Yes, that means a tiny, 16 pound, one year old is whipping my rear-end and I am too exhausted at the end of each day to think of how to type, much less what to type.) But before you nay-sayers say, “I told you so,” hush, I love this little tyke immensely and am totally content.) It is hard to blog, though, since she is insanely jealous of my laptop and whines to get in my lap if I even look at it. And there are so many other things that keep us busy each day. There are lunches with friends, trips to the vet, trips out of town, shopping to be done, playing at the park, stomach viruses (nasty), and all those day to day things that aren’t getting done, either. And then before you know it, looming on the horizon is my inevitable return to work. I have to make the most of my time off work doing bonding activities and fun stuff.

I’m having a little trouble with the concept of work and my new status as mommy to a toddler. Not that I have a choice about returning to work, since my income is half of the family’s support and that toddler has to eat. But I sure will miss our leisurely mornings of bottles and coffee, daytime excursions, and rocking her to sleep for her afternoon naps. I know that weekends at the end of a workweek will be full of errands and chores that will rob of us of our one on one time. Basically, I’m not ready to leave her yet.

The important question is whether she is ready for me to leave her. As the experts advise, we’ve worked on meeting her needs immediately so that she can feel secure. I’ve guided her gently and slowly through accepting her new world. She has made great strides in the short time she has been home. Just look at her face; it is a face that shows confidence. Confidence that her smallest whimper will bring us running, that the hugs and kisses will keep coming, and that all the ice cream belongs to her. She now holds up her arms for her Daddy to pick her up and will snuggle her little body next to his for comfort. She chants, “Da Da, Da Dee,” when he gets home from work. Big change from not wanting him to touch her. She has climbed into her big sister’s lap of her own accord and no longer cries when sister tries to hold her. She’s warming up to her niece, Hopers, and calls her, “Op.” She still follows me from room to room but doesn’t panic when I leave her to put away laundry. Today she stayed in the nursery at church. I was apprehensive and kept waiting to be summoned to comfort a sobbing child but they said she played the entire time. Huh. She could have at least looked sad for a minute but I guess this is testimony to her feeling secure. She was happy to see me when the service was over and I was happy to see her! I think she is going to do just fine; I don’t know about me.